Peer Review: Rawan – “Poor soul, the centre of my sinful earth”
Well done on tackling one of Shakespeare’s sonnets, they’re never as straightforward as we would like them to be! You have some fantastic ideas here about the conflict between the soul and the body, and how differently there are treated. I particularly like how you articulate that Shakspeare “question(s) the human worship of the physical body.”
My main point of criticism would be that it seems you edit some parts and forget to adapt the rest of the sentence, or maybe you start writing it a certain way and change your mind halfway through because some sentences don’t flow quite right. You start your entry with “Shakespeareans sonnet” which could be either ‘Shakespeare’s sonnet’ or ‘the Shakespearean sonnet.’ An example of a line with the odd flow is, “The title of the poem, “Poor soul, the centre of my sinful earth”, here earth is representing ” This could be readjusted to be two separate sentences ie. ‘The title of the poem is “Poor soul, the centre of my sinful earth.” Here earth is representing…’
Try reading your piece aloud to yourself or get a friend to read it out loud and it will help you pick up on sentence flow issues.