Aus Peer review 5 – Ana: A bleak Landscape

Ana Vella: A bleak Landscape

Hi Ana,

I really like this piece on T.S. Eliot and Henry Lawson. I think it’s very creative how you have identified the commonalities between the two of them and weaved the idea together. Your writing illustrates a bleak and dying landscape very effectively. With the drought going on in rural Australia I’m sure there are many Australians who’s thoughts echo what you’ve written. I love how you opened and closed the open with different lines from the poem The Hollow Men. The closing lines “This is the way the world ends/ Not with a bang but a whimper” suit the tone of hopelessness in your piece.

If I had to offer an improvement, and this is being super nitpicky here just for the sake of saying something, the line “The cattle thirsts” is a little confusing. I don’t know if cattle is supposed to be singular or a group, since the word suggests a whole herd, but singular would just be “thirst”. Literally the only criticism I could find. Great job!

1 Comment

  1. Editing Needed (and some workshop follow-ups- see Purdue Owl for help: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/section/1/
    * and weaved the idea together. =and woven the idea together. [Verbs and Tenses. This is a complex subject. Please look up and study http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/601/01/ ]
    *many Australians who’s thoughts = many Australians whose thoughts – [whose or who’s [who is] : See http://humbleapostrophe.com/apostrophes/whose.html%5D

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