Aus Peer Review 3 – Kyle: The Orange Tree

Kyle: Critical Blog Post 2

Hi Kyle,

This is a sound analysis of the last line of The Orange Tree. You make some good points about what the orange tree might represent and how Neilson displays this. I like how you identify a line from earlier in the poem and link it to the point he is making in the last line. The argument you make about “one is missing out on the opportunity to encounter the Orange Tree, or, as many view is as, wisdom”, is a particularly nice summary of your piece.

There are a couple of things you could do to improve this entry. Namely that it reads a little awkward at times. You tend to repeat words very close to each other, which interrupts the flow of reading. E.g. “Comparison” is used three times in two lines, and “Made evident” and “significance” are also repeated too closely. Some of your sentences are also quite long which makes for difficult reading. As Michael always says; write simply. There’s no point in a long sentence when a short one will do. Try reading the piece aloud, as it will help you identify things like this that we don’t notice when we are writing.

 

 

Image taken from Disability Service Consulting: http://www.disabilityservicesconsulting.com.au/resources/sda-review

 

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